Sex toys can be a taboo subject in couple discussions. Couples may feel reluctant to include toys in their sex life. However, we believe that immersing yourself in the waters of sex toys is a good and healthy thing that will allow you to connect with your partner and with yourself.
To learn more about this topic, one woman told us about her experience with sex toys, which she collects and enjoys more than any handbag or pair of shoes.
Introduction to sextoys
It all started when my boyfriend left the country. He was going to go to Europe for six months, where he would try to find a job. If all went well, I was going to lose my boyfriend in faraway countries because I had not yet finished my studies in France. Going into a long-distance relationship was a bit bad for me for several reasons: the first, of course, was that my boyfriend was going to a country with a six-hour time difference; the second was that I was used to seeing him regularly and the separation caused me a lot of anxiety, and the third was that I had always been a person with a lot of sexual drive and now I would have no one to meet my basic needs.
Faced with this anxiety, my cousin recommends that I buy a vibrator. Since I have always been quite open-minded about exploring my sexuality, I bought one. The experience was not pleased considering the suggestions of the sellers, the poor quality of the toys they were selling and their price, so we went to an online platform to buy sex toys. We had no guarantee of quality, but they were much cheaper.
Incorporating toys into my sex life
My boyfriend went to Europe to try his luck and I found myself alone, next to the vibrator that my cousin had recommended. I went back to the world of porn and immersed myself in it so that I could realize what my body was asking me to do. It was a “solution” because pornography is capable of satisfying your sexual needs, but not your emotional needs.
I also found that it helped to relieve my insomnia, as I have trouble sleeping. One night when I was awake, I had the brilliant idea of masturbating with the vibrator to help me sleep and voilà! My insomnia problems were solved. Since then, I use it regularly to fall asleep at night.
While my boyfriend was there, we made video calls with him and I sent him pictures to have fun because he has his needs too. It wasn’t the same as the real sex act, but we tried to make do with what we could.
Integrating sex toys into couple life
Six months later, his plan to emigrate from the country failed and I, with a bittersweet taste in my mouth since I didn’t want him to fail in his attempt to achieve a better quality of life, received him in France. As we always liked to experiment, he thought that using the vibrator during sex was a fantastic plan. I know that some couples have difficulty accepting toys in their sex life, but I think that trying new experiences is very important in a relationship.
We started by using the vibrator to prepare me before sex and sometimes during sex. I’m not one of those who need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, but it never hurts to have that extra help. Also, it was very exciting for my boyfriend to use it on me.
From that first toy, we bought others. One of them is a mouth spray that numbs the back of the mouth to the deep throat during oral sex. He loved it, of course, and I love to see him excited.
Once you’ve tried something exciting and new, you’re more open to the idea of experimenting with other things.
Sextoys are very important to me today.
Thanks to how well sex toys are received in my relationship and how much I continue to use them when I am alone. My partner and I both understand that we both have needs that we sometimes have to meet ourselves and sex toys have become a very important part of our relationship. I would put them after my cell phone on the list of the most important material things for me. They are my companions in moments of loneliness, my solutions when I am excited and without my boyfriend.
We hope this woman’s testimony has inspired you to try new things in your sex life both by yourself and with your partner and to start breaking the taboos that hinder our path to orgasm.